when is this rat race gonna end? after uni? after getting a job? or never..

xuelin just left, we had a rather long and depressing talk. about our bleak bleak future. people always want the cream of the crop. but what the hell is wrong with the rest of the cake?! too much cream can make you puke too. its just so unfair.

anyway.. for the past few years, since p6 in fact, i've not made a single decision for myself. now it's time to choose a jc, think i'll do the same thing again. zzz. no aspirations, no goals. actually how does anyone choose which jc they wanna go to? uniform? suitable cut-off point? friends? distance? cannot think of anything else. for me anything can do.. so yeah. how do i choose? guess im really indecisive.

when xuelin start talking about her future, i tried to imagine mine. sadly i couldn't conjure up any image. except for me being a bum. curled up on bed with a book, or sitting in front of the tv. how pathetic can life get? at least she's pragmatic. i suspect that im a sentimental fool who believes in miracles. i used to believe in this statement: chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi. haha. but lately it has been failing me. sigh.

as for the rest of what's going through my head, i do not even know how to put in words. forget it. next time than.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle-shells,
And pretty maids all in a row.